4th Febuary

Uploaded beta design of webpage. I just want to get something up here. More soon.

 

18th Febuary

Well, who knows what this site is supposed to be. A lot of shit has happened to me lately and my world has kind of turned upside down. Anyway I thought that if I put down my thoughts on paper (huh??), I'd relax more and sleep easier. So what will I write about first? I'm considering tackling my greatest angst, the X; or maybe I should start from the begining. I may write this as a story as such from a first-person view point. Change names, add some spice to it. Make people (if anyone reads this) wonder weither this is fact or fiction. I've been going over this whole thing in my head so it's good to get all this out.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. How to start? Ummm...ok. I was having a 3-way conference call with two female friends: Kate and Katherine and we were talking about my situation. Situation?? I am single, as in I have no girlfriend, lover, no partner. I did. for 3 and a half years. I grew up with this girl. She was the "one", supposedly. That story is a whole book. Anyway, I was talking to my friends and explaining my feelings on the situation. I don't really like being single. Being that I was never really single. I don't want to "pick up". I don't want to play the sherade of meeting someone. It's more than likely my fear of rejection, fear of being hurt. To put it simply, I want magic. To meet her, someone. i want it to just happen, a spark, it, whatever. I don't know. However, I'm not going to look for someone. If I ever meet someone I would like it to occur naturally (sorry for using occur, couldn't think of anything else to say). I can't just "play the field", it seems so fake. Maybe I'm just stupid. Who knows. I'm sick of games. Too much hurt? I've got to go. More soon.